forcrayonsandbouncy:

Last night, I dreamt that Cecil was teaching my yoga class. He kept trying to get us to do strange poses like, “partially blackened venison burger” or “ukelele sunburst.” None of us knew what he was talking about, but he was so excited and enthusiastic about teaching yoga nonetheless, bless his little heart.

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at a horror movie
  • gf: are you scared?
  • me: in this economy who wouldn't be
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twiabpaianlatfwnogf:

*sees a dog* *gasps loudly*

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majestic-sass:

officialundertaker:

illaminati:

mcporno:

there has never been a cool person called eugene

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greelin:

cyberuser:

i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now

i think you’re still technically gay

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witchcraftand-wizardry:

i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5”3’ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy

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So I googled pictures of fat chickadees and…

heyashbutt:

I

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can’t

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handle

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the

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cute

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